I think my 12 year old son summed up my feelings about Iron Man 3 as we walked out into the movie theater parking lot.  "My rage has eclipsed my ability to think."  I blame my inability to think for this post being several days in the making.

Since I was a little girl, I've LOVED superheroes.  They were, and still are, an important part of who I am and how I think.  They represent hope, and ideals, and an existence that reaches beyond going to bed at 10:30 and oatmeal for breakfast.  The life of a superhero is never ending battle.  And triumph.  They are a constant, a rock that you can rely on to be there and that will not change.

While the 60's Batman and Robin series was officially the beginning, the Superman movies with Christopher Reeve were the beginning of my big screen love.  Superheroes have also become a major bonding point between me and my son.  I honestly didn't know that Pinterest had recipes on it for a year after being on it.  All I use it for is taking screen shots of cool superhero pictures to text to my son.  I enjoy it as much as he does.


WARNING: IRON MAN 3 SPOILER ALERT!


You know all that stuff I said about constance and hope.  You know that feeling you had when you left Iron Man 1 and 2?  The one where you and Tony could conquer the world?  Throw it out the window.  'Cause here comes Iron Man 3.  

I can see how some people might appreciate the misdirection of the identity of the Mandarin, but I think most fanboys will agree on the disappointment.  We were so excited to see Mandarin's finger loaded up with his rings.  Each one giving Mandarin a different power - influence, time warp, invisibility, etc.  Haha.  Fooled ya, fanboys.  He's not really the Mandarin!  "I'm only ACTING!"

Besides a massive plot flaw, (I'll get to that in a minute), they completely strip the Iron Man out of Tony Stark - figuratively and literally.  Tony Stark blew up ALL of his armor?!  What a slap in the face to the fanboy.  Why did he do it?  I guess it's because Pepper didn't like it.  And we all know what a sensitive boyfriend Tony is, right?  Wrong!  Tony and Pepper love each other for who they are.  And Tony wouldn't give up his love (the Iron Man armor) for his love (Pepper).  The reason he gave in the movie?  I think it was, "Heck!  It's Christmas!"  Come on, people!  You are demasculinizing Tony Stark!  And if there's one thing Tony is - it's 100% maMALE!  That's why we love Tony!  My jaw literally dropped when he was saying the armor was like a cocoon.  Great.  Tony is likening himself to a butterfly.  That's true to character.  Fly, sweet butterfly.  Spread your delicate wings and fly.  

To quote Tony Stark in Iron Man 2 when asked by Senator Stern to turn the armor over: "Well, you can forget it.  I am Iron Man.  The suit and I are one.  To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself...  You can't have it."

And for the most upsetting thing of all, he elected to have his Arc reactor removed.  Sorry, Tony, I wasn't aware this magical operation was available.  Why the heck didn't you have the shrapnel and Arc reactor removed once you got out of the cave in Iron Man 1?  Why the heck didn't you have the shrapnel removed in Iron Man 2 when you were dying of freakin' blood poisoning from your Arc reactor?  All that work you did decoding the secret message your dad left to you in the blueprints of Disneyland, or Starkworld, or whatever, to make a new power source...  Why didn't you just go get your "surgery".  That surgery completely invalidates the struggles of Iron Man 2.

So, let's see, they took away Tony Stark's armor and the Arc reactor (or it's replacement).  What's left?  Go ahead and take the playboy out of "genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist", too. 


I want Iron Man back.

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