It’s been a while since I’ve written my blog.  I honestly can’t remember the last time.  It’s difficult to spread you’re creative wings when you feel weighted down and I, personally, was the one responsible for tying dumbbells onto my sparkly, bubblegum pink butterfly wings.  In the wake of Dark Waters being finished, I needed to switch things up for a bit and I decided to pursue a lifelong (well, just about) dream of studying Shakespeare at the graduate level.  Much to my delight, I was accepted into the University of Birmingham’s Master’s program in Shakespeare and Theatre and much to my chagrin, I actually had to start writing essays.

 

 

 

You wouldn’t think writing books and writing essays would be that different.  I mean, it’s words on paper, right? I loved watching Shakespeare and reading Shakespeare, so three years of intensive studying should be a dream, right?  But like so many things in life, a love that is enjoyed as a leisure can become a bit of an albatross around your neck once it becomes an obligation.  So, how does a butterfly like me remove the weights and flutter back into the universe of creativity?  Great question.  One that I’ve been sorting through myself. 

 

 

 

Earlier this week, I realized that for this self-confessed over-achiever, good enough is going to have to be good enough.  I can’t over-achieve on all the things in my life: I have too many.  I have to do my best and let it go.  When my children don’t do so hot on a test at school, my question is only, “Did you do your best?”  If they can honestly answer yes, then that is good enough for me.  Why, then, am I judging myself by a different standard than I have for my own children?  Why am I not allowing myself that if I try my best, then it was good enough.  I was trying to come to grips with this idea when only two days later I was having coffee with a friend.  After I told her of my struggles she said to me, “Have you ever considered that good enough is good enough?”  I kid you not.

 

 

 

So, am I going to become slacker Tracy?  No, I’m afraid I can’t.  As much as I hate spinning plates it appears to be in my genetic makeup to be a plate spinner and I can’t escape it.  I am going to try to relax on some expectations I have on myself, however.  I began this degree to grow as a person and have fun and if I’m so focused on a letter grade that I can’t fulfill either of these objectives, then I’ve lost the point.  I need to go back and love what I’m studying and let good enough be good enough. 

 

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